Copyright 1999 --  Robert Baer Jr.  Revised - 2000.

The Renegade Files - "Jurrasic Wedding"


PROLOGUE

>This is the story of a superhero, The Computer Renegade, as told through
>the eyes of his faithful bionic German Shepard Otto.  Disguised as
>Accountant Nathan Lovejoy, the Renegade and his friends fight a never
>ending battle against crime, injustice and danger.   This is yet another
>entry from Otto's 'personal' log.

Editor's note:  The character DJ is the property of Jake Williams.

The Renegade Files -- "Jurrasic Wedding" 

The moment had arrived, a moment that our two dinosaur friends had been
looking forward to for a very long time, it was their wedding day!  

It was decided months ago to hold the wedding outdoors, and it was a
perfect, sunny Saturday afternoon.  The wedding was being held near the
Computer Dinosaur's cave, for better access to his kitchen and restroom
facilities.  Samantha and I, with the help of the Computer Counsellor,
Xeren Zzoom, the Computer Gila Monster and all of Samantha's family, spent
the morning decorating the surrounding trees and setting up picnic tables
for the reception.   The DInosaur's boss, Colonel Krispy, insisted on
donating all of the reception food, and even had his own chefs flown in to
prepare it all!   He also hinted that he'd like to have many wedding
photograghs taken, for publicity.

The time was drawing nearer as the Computer Dinosaur was nervously pacing
back and forth behind his cave, wearing his "Senator Paul Simon" bow-tie.

"Oh, I'm so nervous!" the Big Guy stated as he continued to pace,"what if
I forget my lines?"

"This is a wedding, not a stage play, you big galoot!" the Gila Monster
shouted as he adjusted his neck-tie.

"I still think you should've worn the tuxedo, Gila!" Xeren Zzoom told
him,"who ever heard of a member of the groom's entouge' wearing jeans and
a black leather jacket!"

"I tells you what, mister!" the Gila Monster growled,"at YOUR wedding,
I'll wear anything you want me to!"

"My wedding?" Xeren said in shock,"I don't even have a girlfriend!"

"I can introduce you to my ex-girlfriend!" the Gila said with a grin.

"You mean.... the snake?" Xeren asked.

"Sure!" the Gila said as he patted Xeren on the back,"I'll bet you two
would be great together, and she plays a mean game of Twister!"

"YUCK!!!!!"  Xeren shouted,"there's no way I'd date a snake, why don't you
take her out?"

"Not me!" the Gila grumbled,"besides, I'm trying to get one of Samantha's
sisters to go on a date with me!"

"Good luck!' Xeren said with a grin,"you'll need it!"

"C'mon, y'all, stop fussin," the Dinosaur said nervously,"I'm getting
really scared!"

"But you've been through this before, CD!" I said,"remember your first
marriage?"

"Don't remind me!" the Dinosaur said sadly,"that's one day I'd rather forget!"

"I sure hope Romulas and Remus don't come here!" Xeren said as he adjusted his
tie.

"If they does, I'll bash'm with my trusty 2 x 4 again!" the Gila Monster
growled,"then I'll turn in sideways, and shove it straight up  ...."

"GILA!" Xeren interrupted,"DON'T SAY IT!"

"I was gonna say 'beaks' college boy!" the Gila Monster said with a giggle,
you thought I was going to say ..."

"ENOUGH!" Xeren interrupted,"sounds like the organ is warming up, we'd
better get into position!"

On the other side of the yard, the ladies were acting equally nervous.

"Oh my!" Dree-'el said as she put on her huge wedding veil,"I hope I don't
pass out!   I'm so frightened!"

"Relax, Dree-'el, ma'am," Samantha said calmly,"you'll be just fine!"

"Sam, you and Wanna got married last year, are all brides supposed to be
so nervous?" Dree-'el asked as she started pacing.

"It's only natural," Wanna answered with a smile,"just remember how much
you love CD, that'll give you all the incentive you'll need to make it
through the ceremony!"

"My master is right, Dree-'el, ma'am," Samantha added.

At that moment, Abby Maddog ran over to Samantha.

"Sam!" Abby barked,"you gotta stop the Gila Monster, he's trying to ask me
out again!"

"Didn't you tell him no?" Samantha asked.

"I told him no, Linda told him no and Vicki told him no several times
today!' Abby growled,"but he won't give up!  Do us all a favor, sis, and
tell him to back off!"

"Ok, settle down, I'll see what I can do," Samantha said,"where is he now?"

"Over by the big apple tree, talking to Vicki again!" Abby snarled,"at
least Molly was smart, she brought that German Shepard with her!"

"His name is DJ, Abby!" Samantha said,"why can't you call him by his name?"

"All I know is the next time I go to a wedding, I'm going to bring a date,
even if I have to PAY him!" Abby barked,"hurry sis, I think Vicki is
getting ready to slap that silly Gila Monster!"

"She better not do that!" Samantha warned,"I think he'd enjoy that too
much!"

"Hey, gals, the wedding march is starting to play!" the Computer
Counsellor said,"get ready!"

Indeed, the wedding march was playing, the wedding was starting right on
time.   In attendence are all the Dinosaur's friends, including Judge
Blanche Vito, Earl and Burl Monroe, Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose.  Even
a good many birds from 'BirdWorld' took their 'places' on a nearby
telephone line.  The wedding march played, Prairie Mason's daughters Anita
and Alice, served as flower "girls".   Then came the parade of bridemaids
and their escorts.  Samantha Maddog with Otto, Wanna Lovejoy with Nathan,
the Counsellor with the Gila Monster.   The Computer Dinosaur stands
nervously awaiting his bride to scroll down the aisle.  Allen, another one
of Prairie's 'kids' served as ringbearer.  At last, down the aisle came
Dree-'el, walking with the man she chose to 'give the bride away' the one
who brought them together in the first place, Uncle Buford.  Following
behind him is his robotic dog Maxx.   It is a very grand scene when, at
long last, the two huge brontosauruses were standing face to face with the
minister, repeating their vows, exchanging their rings, and at long last,
getting married!   I must admit, I did cry when I saw the Computer
Dinosaur and Dree-'el kiss!   

The wedding reception was sensational,  Colonel Krispy and his staff went
all out, the reception buffet provided an endless variety of entrees, side
dishes and desserts!   Plus, two huge tossed salads just for the lucky
bride and groom!   The Gila Monster began introducing everyone to his
friend Jessica McCandles and her parents.   Jessica began telling all of
the guests how the Gila Monster have saved her and helped her to face her
parents.  Even Abby, Vicki and Linda Maddog seemed to be impressed.

"That greenish goon did all that for you?" Linda Maddog asked Jessica.

"He really saved you from a dozen hoodlums?" Vicki Maddog asked.

"And he stood up for you in front of your mom and dad?"  Abby Maddog
wondered.

"Yes, he did!"  Jessica said happily,"in fact, he's agreed to be the
godfather of my baby!"

As Jessica hugged the Gila Monster, the three collie sisters looked on in
amazement.

"I guess the Gila isn't such a bad guy after all,"  Abby admitted.

"I never would have thought that that reptile had a heart!"  Linda said
with a smile.

"Neither would I!" Vicki said with a smile.

"I heard that y'all!" the Gila Monster said as he turned around,"now will one
of you PLEASE go out with me?"

"Er...... not me!" Abby shouted as she ran away.

"Maybe Vicki will!"  Linda shouted as she ran after Abby.

"Forget it, green guy!"  Vicki shouted as she ran after her sisters.

"Don't worry," Jessica said with a smile,"you'll find someone someday!"

"I reckon you is right,"  the Gila Monster sadly admitted,"oh well, let's
go back to the buffet!   I wants more fried chicken!"

Colonel Krispy walks over to congradulate the Computer Dinosaur and
Dree-'el.

"Y'all sure make a great couple!" the Colonel said with a smile,"tell you
what, I have a great idea!"

"What is it, sir?" the Dinosaur asked.

"We'll feature you and your new wife in our ad campaigns!" the Colonel
said excitedly,"think of it, CD, I'll put both of your faces on my new
pizza puff packages!   We'll make a fortune!   What do y'all say?  Do we
have a deal?"

"Well, darling, what do you think?"  The Dinosaur asked Dree-'el.

"Sounds good to me!" Dree-'el said with a smile,"as long as I get to be
with you!"

"Great!" Colonel Krispy shouted,"call me when y'all get back from your
honeymoon!"

"How do y'all like that?" the Dinosaur said with a smile,"married just ten
minutes and you already have a job!"

"Gonna need that money for college, sweetie!" Dree-'el said happily,"and
it'll be a lot of fun!"

Hours pass and soon, the happy couple are ready to go off on their
honeymoon.  They both wanted to go to an uninhabitied island in the
Hawaiian island chain, so they could spend some time alone together.   I
decided to teleport them their myself.  After waving goodbye to all their
guests, I 'sent' them on their way.  What a happy couple they make, and
what a happy life they'll have together!

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